**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
