i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
