if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize