some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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