Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
