That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
