I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize