I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
