One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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