By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
