So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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