If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
