I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
