My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
