She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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