i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
