How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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