This girl is more easily done than said...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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