it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
