Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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