I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
