She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize