haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize