i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
