it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
