I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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