I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
