just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
