the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My bed smells like the plague
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
