and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
whose parrot is this?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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