I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That accounts for only three of the penises
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is Oprah even human
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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