my vag is so smooth its legendary
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
