In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
