Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i need some magic done to my vagina
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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