; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
