wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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