Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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