I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
