I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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