Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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