Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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