I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
