Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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