chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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