For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
