I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
