Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
