you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i think my cat just said my name.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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