ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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