i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just pee around me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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