AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
