How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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