Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sext me about skeletons
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
