you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Someone came in the potted fern
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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