My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
