if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Congratulations! We have a period
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