just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
