You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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