There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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