I think scott just propositioned me for sex
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
