I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
don't judge my taste in strippers
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
